Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize