never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
