whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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