I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
