im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
