I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
