jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
