i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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