There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
