thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
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