We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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