I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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