fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
