If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
