As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
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Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
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I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.