I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
you never un-have a 4some
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
