last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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