I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Come see our sink grown plant.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
