If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
