Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
