So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The best revenge is premature balding
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
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I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
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You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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