Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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