Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
