she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
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I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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