too bad you live with your parents still
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
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Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
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I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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