We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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