i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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