The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize