apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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