I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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