Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
