I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
