Are we in a gay sports bar?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
