I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
