But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize