why didn't you poke me back
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
