piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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