I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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