She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
