hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
