My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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