You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
