i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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