there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
