M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Randomize
