When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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