If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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