i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I party with great urgency now.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
