so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize