he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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