Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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