Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize