I met the friendliest cop last night
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
operation harelip BJ is a go
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Randomize
