So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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