I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
