he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
