kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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