I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
