omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
