there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
