I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
